Being a Pagan Student

This new academic year has begun and freshers has now passed. It was a hectic time for me and the other society council members as we put on the events and met the new pagan students of Falmouth Uni. By the end, I was asleep by 8pm and felt like death, narrowly deflecting Fresher’s Flu.

I had a hard think about what would be useful to the freshers. Being Pagan has a diverse meaning so we needed to cater to everyone. I recently saw an article about how freshers is all about drinking and it excludes new students, but that wasn’t the case at our uni, nor can I imagine that was the case at all. Our first event was a tour of the groups magickal, mystical and natural spots. I was pretty nervous throughout freshers as the society wasn’t really successful last year and I’d grown comfortable with the group. This year, we had freshers to get through and attract as many people as possible. The tour went well and lit up the imaginations of five freshers. We visited places such as The Grotto, a pond in the shape of a star with a war memorial near by, built by American Soldiers, surrounded by a tall wall of bamboo and near by a stream; a fertility statue built into a wall, hidden by trees, The Walled Garden, which encompasses an orchard; Tremough House Garden, a lovely italian-style garden which accompanies the old convent, and we ended with the Chaplaincy cottage, the hub of inter-faith relations.

The Star Pond at The Grotto during the Chaplaincy Tour for Pagan Students

The second event we’d put on was a gathering for the Eclipse. I really did not expect 20-30 students to turn up, most of them with no idea on what was expected of them. I have never led a ritual for any more than three, so it was incredibly daunting and I didn’t intend to, as I’d written on the event ‘individual ritual/meditation’ so when everyone asked me what they were doing, I could have died. I did not come prepared, but I should have expected lots of non-pagans with no experience, really. The numbers after that fell, unsurprisingly. I apologise to those that thought I was going to lead a big dramatic ritual, with drumming circle, passing round a shisha pipe, chanting under the eclipsed moon, or whatever it is people do at festivals. In my mind, it was going to be something much more quiet and personal. The energy that was invoked however was amazing, a few other freshers picked up on it. I guess there really is strength in numbers.

Just some of the students that turned up for the Lunar Eclipse gathering! 

The last freshers event we had was our Mabon feast. Mabon is the second harvest festival, a time for reflection, giving thanks and wining and dining yourself before winter comes around. It was a lot of fun. We went to Zizzi’s as it was easy, provided for lots of different dietary requirements and preferences and was no-fuss. We’d under booked.

As time goes on, as president I’m seeing a lot of pressure on me, again it was something I should have expected but coming from an ‘easy’ year or desperately trying to pull in members and not putting on any big events because of this, going from one extreme to the next was quite maddening, to fulfil spiritual duties. As president, everyone looks to you for advice and wisdom, something I’ve not before experienced. It was lovely though to see so many people interested in Paganism. Especially when I was told during my time as a fresher that it would not be popular. I’m having a lot of fun with this though and I’ve made a lot of new friends. It’s everything I was hoping for when I was a fresher.

My new friends 😀 

xo

My Experience Of The Wedding Industry Pt2: Engagement Competitions

Hello darlings, I recently entered a local engagement competition on Facebook, you may have read ‘My Appeal‘,but probably not. it was something that popped up on my timeline from friends that had liked someone’s post in the competition group page. They had posted their engagement story and a picture of the moment. I thought it seemed like a lovely idea so I looked into it more. There were prizes: a photo shoot, a £50 voucher and various small discounts off of local vendors. The couple that had caught my attention on my timeline had a lot of publicity and exposure on Facebook. I thought: why not and through George and I into the competition.

It was tough.

I had a week to get as many likes on my post as possible. What I realised was this was firstly a popularity contest, secondly a writing contest and thirdly (if you submitted a picture) a beauty contest. To ensure my success, I decided I had to write the story well. I had to have emotion and hilarity and romance. My story is romantic and funny, but not everyone can word things as such. I picked a picture George and I took at my mums on Christmas day a couple hours after he proposed. I had the goods ready and they were pretty high quality, if I do say so myself.

The problem I was going to have was with the popularity bit. I’m a pretty introverted person and often keep to myself despite the fact I come from a big family and have a lot of friends. I didn’t really think they’d help but I messaged them anyway. After this, I think I must have gotten between around 150 likes. The leading couple were at around 220 and it was daunting because they were a lesbian couple. I really did not think I stood a chance against a couple that were potentially getting their likes from the LGBT+ community Facebook groups. I posted all across Twitter and Tumblr, but nothing really happened there. I then remembered that I’m a Pagan; I’m a part of a tight knit community, too. I saw a huge influx of fellow pagan people coming to like the page and I really couldn’t feel any prouder to be apart of such a wonderful community. And then there was also all of the different uni groups I was apart of, finally, there was a benefit to being a student.

And then Saturday night happened. The leading couple gained around 200 likes and I really did not think I could compete. I felt down about it but George through my phone to the end of the bed and put on a movie, which made me feel much better about it all! The next day, we went out and enjoyed our Valentines day together before he had to go back home. After he went home, I had a sudden burst of faith. I shared the post again everywhere, added more Pagan groups and got my family and friends sharing on Facebook. I went to Instagram and Twitter with #WitchAndTheAtheist, because these things are easier to find with a hashtag, no? I’d gained 250-300 likes. I was far too excited to get the early night I wanted. I won with 10 minutes short of midnight.

I had messages coming at me, likes going through the roof and adrenaline. I really couldn’t believe what was happening and I could not wait to tell George in the morning about what had happened over night.

Of course, while this was all exciting, it wasn’t without drama. Right before I went to bed, a competitor had read through my comments and appeared to be getting argumentative. this worried me a little, I was too tired and excited to handle conflict but I did so well, and with the help of a friend. It wasn’t until I woke up and checked my notifications that I really had to laugh though. Someone had reported my engagement photo for nudity. I thought it looked a little bit suspicious but I chose to ignore it. I won. I didn’t know who did it, but it didn’t really matter.

But I learnt a few things from this experience:

1. People go crazy for things that are free.

2. Where there’s a popularity contest involved, seek out a large group of people, just like you.

3. People will try and argue and even do petty things when you take things as seriously as they do.

4. Faith is a handy tool to keep about you.

5. There will always be another competition somewhere so don’t feel too downhearted if it doesn’t look like it’s going your way.

6. Entering competitions is a good way to pass a long engagement and keep excited.

7. If you have ulterior motives… such as a best friend having a unpleasant experience with one of the other competitors, this makes you even more eager to win.

Cheers for reading guys, hopefully this won’t be the first and last competition I enter, I had a lot of fun and I hope you have enjoyed reading pt2 and if you haven’t get checked out My Appeal, go for it. The competitions closed now but the post and story still remain.  x

 

I Have Returned!

Hello everyone. After a long spell away from WordPress (unfortunately, not from the keyboard) I have returned. I have a whole bunch of new topics to write about and moan about ect. ect. hopefully, for your enjoyment.

Where have I been?! I hear one of you rhetorically ask, well. That is a very good question and I’m glad one of you rhetorically asked it. My being away has been down to a number of this: Struggling to cope with being me, university life and life in general. I’ve found it difficult to stay motivated and happy. The next thing was Christmas. Coming home in it’s self is a massive rukus. I had lots of arguments with relatives (which didn’t help with the moods), I shopped like a hard session at the gym, I poorly attempted to study (which I shall return back to) and I got engaged! Yes, Sam Wiltshire shall, at some point in the hopefully near future, shall become Sam Clarke.

What’s that reader? How did this happen?  Well, It was Christmas. We had a whole line up of places to go and people to see. In the morning we went to my dads and we all had a lovely time. George was acting a little strange in that he refused to take off his coat, despite it not actually being cold. His words were ‘you know what I’m like’. Yes, I do know what you’re like Mister, and you were being weird. But hey, it was Christmas, I wasn’t going to question it. Anyway, we then went to Dorchester to have dinner at his aunts house with his dad’s side of the family. It was an amazing dinner, I must say. Everyone worked so hard and the results were absolutely delicious. So, I told my mother that we would be joinging then at 3.30pm-4.00pm. It was 3.15 but the time we finished dinner. Yes, I was panicking a little. It was going to take 45 minutes to get back to Yeovil. George was dwardling and I was panicking.

He pulled me out into the hall way and asked if I was happy with him. Well, of course I was! I love him so incredibly much and it was Christmas. How can you be mad at anyone on Christmas? Anyway, I was confused. He took me back into the dining room with everyone else, asked how long I wanted to be with him. Forever, of course, was my answer and BOOM. Clarkus gets down on one knee and whips out the box. Overwhelmed all I could do was try to pull him up and kiss him. At this point I’m sure I could imagine the words that were going through his head: Get off me you crazy bitch and just let me propose to you. So naturally, I had to try and compose myself and try to listen to what he was saying and doing and I was just so shocked that the whole thing is a bit of a blur now. I remember seeing this ring glistening in this little box and I remember seeing his face full of happiness and pride. I remember looking like a complete twat in front of his relatives. Somehow, I managed to say yes and he slipped the ring onto my finger. Rose gold ring set with diamonds and an oval cut stone. “It’s something different and it felt like you.” And I agree, it’s perfect.

What I can never forget it all of the pictures his uncle took of us, and how everyone was crying, including me, of course. I was so glad I refrained from putting make up on because if my screwed up facials didn’t ruin those pictures, the running make up would have. Everyone gave us cuddles and, George’s aunt, seeing how I was quivering like a loose leaf in the wind gave me a glass of champagne to wash it all down. I felt like I needed a lot more than just one glass, however, I had a large in take of sherry through the dessert so it was probably best I didn’t over do it. George took everyone but his mum by surprised and I was glad that everyone was as happy as I was. And at least I had a valid excuse for turning up to my mums so late on Christmas day!

By the time I got to my mums, we’d announced the situation, everyone was chuffed as punch. My step dad ordered me not to plan the wedding the same year as my mums. I of course, like the angel that I am, promised I wouldn’t even consider upstaging my guardian angel. Upon returning to my sisters in the living room they came together as a choir to sing me the chorus of Goodbye My lover by James Blunt. I think that’s probably been the happiest day of my whole miserable existence. I joke, I’m only miserable on, usually, from Monday to Thursday. Luckily, Christmas was on a Friday.

Anyway, I promise this wasn’t just a post about my engagement. After that, in the New Year, I had to return back to reality (turned out I’d been trapped in some kind of  fairytale) and I had a week or two to complete five pieces of work that counted towards my final grade. This, naturally, did not leave any room for enjoyment and leisure. Leaving behind my fiancé was awfully tough. While the work helped to take my mind off of it, it also stressed me out even more than I needed to be. I saw a counsellor during this point. I said I would get myself booked in last semester and I did. It helped a lot to work out what I was feeling and I booked another for next week. All of my deadlines are done now and its a case of writing as much crap as I possibly can, paint stuff, plan ahead for the next semester so I don’t have this womb ache ever again and spend time with my lover man and the family, because I miss them all like hell too. And Pagan Society stuff. Actually, that’s a point. I’ve made quite a bit of progression with that now and we’re planning to take it even further. I’m very excited.

Thanks for reading, see you in the next post! xx

Pagan Hypocrisy

Today, I engaged myself in a heated discussion on religion, Islam in particular, which as some of you may have guessed, I tend to do easily and quite often. It started off as a person asking about Satanists and ended as a discussion on the evils of Islam. This annoyed me  and brought me to the realisation of how small minded and racist other pagans CAN be. I’m not saying Pagans are, because I’m certainly not and I know a lot of Pagans that are as open minded, however, there are a lot that are and this surprises me.

It surprises me for a number of reasons. First of all, all Pagans do is wish for acceptance, understanding and recognition in society. I, myself, have had difficulty in getting certain loved ones to understand, to accept and recognise, but the majority do. I have a lot of friends from different religions and we are all on the understanding that neither wants to be converted, and we leave it at that. Yet, in the discussion, some Pagans did not wish to show acceptance, understanding or even recognition to other religions, particularly Islam. I found this terribly hypocritical. Pagans, the most open minded people, were in this case, the most close minded and it saddened me.

One certain character decided to pick out vague parts of the Qu’ran that promoted paedophilia, mass murder and racist beliefs about those of other religions. I pointed out that Pagans thousands of years ago, may have sacrificed animals and the young. If my friends started hiding their pets and children from me out of fear, I’d be incredibly upset. It works both ways. Religion is a very very old thing. We are not. Therefore, religion is something to be interpreted by us, who are affected by time and space. I don’t do ritual sacrifices of any kind because in this day and age, I don’t believe that it is necessary, or just and I imagine that the same applies to any other religion. You pick and choose what fits the day and age. The laws on same-sex marriage are proof of that.

Another reason it surprised me is because I was asked WHY I was defending Islam, despite not reading the Qu’ran yet. This was an interesting question, considering Wicca’s laws of ‘An it harm none’ and ‘Live and let live’ did not seem to be relevant in this conversation but are very relevant in my life. Talking slander about another religion, in my eyes, causes harm. Considering I have friends at university that are Muslim and are lovely, I would not wish them this harm and I’m happy to defend. If it had been the other way round and they were horrible to me, like certain Christians, then perhaps my opinion would be different. However, I can only go on what I seen with my own eyes. I don’t believe in placing my faith in hear say. Then, there is the whole idea, of just let people live their life the way they want to. If they aren’t hurting you, then what is the problem if they choose to place their faith in a book, or just certain pages of a book? I see no issue here. If someone came to me and told me what I believed in was wrong and that I was a bad person for believing in what I do, I’d tell them what they can do, and where they can go very promptly.

This is just a short article expressing my displeasure that some of the hypocritical members of the Pagan Community. Discrimination, unfortunately, is very much alive and well in the Pagan Community and I don’t believe that there is any room for it. After thousands of years of persecution, why are some pagans believing that it is their right to now dish it out?

Thanks for reading guys x

 

 

Oh! Things have changed!

Ok so, it’s been so long since I had last written that the website has been updated and the actual format of the ‘new post’ page has changed… interesting. I’d first like to apologise for my lack of writing, I’m sure many of you have missed me.

The occasion of my writing comes upon many things. The first of which was my doctors appointment yesterday evening. I finally plucked up enough courage to admit  the struggles I have faced with myself for most of my life. It was not easy and there were several occasions upon this confession where I almost cried. It was very difficult to admit there is a problem out loud, especially when I’m so used to harbouring these thoughts and feelings. So, I’m kind of proud of myself for that. For so long I tried to pretend like I’m ok by helping others face their own problems. I’ve been on the outside looking in, because I was too afraid to lift my head from the sand. This has both helped me and made me feel worse.

I knew university life would be hard. Whilst in college, I didn’t think I could do it. The thought of me living by myself and so far away from my family, I thought was ridiculous and I knew that I would feel like this. I had no idea how to look after myself. Not just physically but in every way; and I do feel like I neglect myself. My room became a tip, I looked like a cavewoman and my life feels shit. So I have decided that today, I’m going to take a ‘me’ day, because I’m ill and I need to feel better.  Just getting out of bed is the hardest thing to do at the moment. I am up though.

I found this band a few days ago called ‘Laboratorium Piesni’ and they are amazing. Their music is so tranquil and that’s helped me so far. I’ve lit incense, opened my blinds and I’ve un-littered my room. I think just doing that helps a lot. The moment I woke up I started to try and do essay work. I have 5 assignments due after Christmas and I go home next week. Just the thought of writing 10,000 words over Christmas is frightening as well as all of the reading I’ve got. However, I realise that I don’t work like others may. I can’t do all-nighters. I’ve had trouble waking up so I need a very early night. I’ve been using Facebook unconsciously as escapism and that’s getting in the way of my time. Time to say good bye to the app. Last year I realised that the only way I could focus was to focus on myself first. When I worry and panic, I forget this. I forget everything, quite literally. And it is fricken scary.

I’m writing this post to banish the bad stuff from my head and hopefully free it so that I can focus on essay things. Tonight I’ve got a presentation on what Paganism is. It’s really important and I need to get better for that. Wicca is my passion and it’s saved my life once before. It’s important that other people understand just what Paganism is. It’s not about converting people, it’s the religious education that you weren’t taught in school. I don’t want my future in-laws to worry about me wanting to share a Pagan style wedding or any of the other rites of passage with my boyfriend. I made a joke about just telling everyone I’m Buddhist. Much less stigma to deal with on that front.

Anyway, the society is going well. We held a stall at the faith fayre last week and it looked smashing. That’s the picture for this post. We made quite a bit of money altogether and it was great to meet people from the other faiths. I’ve also begun with a project of connecting pagans across different universities and colleges. It has certainly been interesting! See, feeling much better now! After this I’m going to get some toaster waffles. After yesterdays appointment I walked home and but my knees felt like jelly and I felt ridiculous so I decided to treat myself to nice ‘breakfast’ although it’s a bit late for breakfast now… Anyway, I think that’s just about everything I wanted to articulate. Keeping calm and not losing my head is going to be the hardest part for me over this next month or so but I think, with the right support, I can do it.

 

Thank you so much to those that come and keep up with the news, hope it’s been interesting for you! Blessed be everyone, and be blessed x

Coming Out Of The Broom Cupboard

Hello everyone. As many of you may, or may not, know I am pretty busy at the moment as far as university and career go. I am in the midst of setting up the first Pagan Society at Falmouth and I am now a writer for Pendle Craft magazine. Very exciting times. I’ve written about it all over Facebook and have exhausted myself in doing so. Many friends and family and general supporters were happy for my news. One such friend asked if this meant that I was finally ‘out of the closet’ about being a Witch. I find this a funny old idea, coming out of the closet. We pagan folk, often call it ‘coming out of the broom cupboard’- a funny play on words. And, after thinking about it in the shower this morning, I don’t think I was ever really in the closet.

From a young age I’d always wanted to be a witch. Back then, of course, I had no idea what real life witches were, but I knew that I had to be something. My parents had told me there were no such thing but it didn’t really stop me in believing in who, I was. I guess you could say this was the first step. Later, as I began to research around fourteen, many of you have probably read my article about  the journey I took in finding Wicca, in ‘Finding The Magick’. My best friend Caitlin, had bought me a lovely pentacle necklace for one of my birthdays. With confidence, I began to wear it in school. One girl asked about it and said she recognised it from a friend that had also been into Wicca. This was quite exciting. People began to acknowledge my beliefs and I began to acknowledge that there were other people out there that were like-minded. Between school and college, I told my friends about my beliefs and practices, and they didn’t seem to mind, or care much. It was just something that WAS. It was a part of me, it wasn’t my entire identity, just a piece.

So, after the steps that I took out of the so-called ‘Broom Cupboard’ I realised that I didn’t really need to go to the extreme of sitting my family down and having some kind of talk with them. In my eyes, I didn’t see the need to make a huge deal out of my transcendence and personal spiritual journey. It was just something that was. It’s not a secret, by any means, definitely not now, anyway. But a persons religious preferences aren’t something that need to be shared with the entire world. You don’t need to feel as though you need to have a big debate and to justify your choices. This is your life. This is my life. I chose to tell the people that were closest to me. I chose to inform those that took an interest. I didn’t want a big fuss. I wanted the personal to remain personal. I still do.

What’s important is admitting things to yourself. Admitting the truth to everyone else is less important. This going for any truth. These characteristics that make up you, are your concern. You don’t need to have a debate. You don’t need to announce your business to the world. On the other hand, if you want to throw a party because you’ve discovered another piece to the puzzle that is you, then go for it. Nothing will hold you back from either. Just make sure that you know who you are. Everyone else will catch up in the meantime. I don’t see this as being ‘in’ or ‘out’ of the Broom Cupboard. I see this as a walk across a bridge of knowledge. Each step you take to discovering who you are, in important. Others will notice. others will be there to watch your steps. Just keep going and don’t look back.

Thanks for reading guys, see you soon! x