Quick, Little Soldier!

Screaming and crying,

And yelling, no dying,

It happens every night.

 

Quick,

Escape into the magic wall

That only I can see.

I have to hide, you see,

So Daddy’s temper doesn’t catch up with me.

 

I should be there to fight,

There to help,

But this little soldiers scared,

Because I’m no little soldier;

So why is my house a war zone?

 

Quick-

Don’t wake him!

Creep and be still,

Otherwise the consequences will surely be real.

 

I don’t like Daddy,

When he is like this;

I wish he could be sent into an abyss,

Because then everyone would be happy,

Perhaps, even Mummy.

 

Because I see the tears form in her eyes,

I see the pain she tries to hide,

I see the silent prayers are sung,

As Daddy threatens to have her neck rung.

 

Then Doggy howls,

He knows what this is.

But Daddy doesn’t like Doggy

Everybody knows,

The monster yanks his tail,

Like a teatowel, all soggy.

 

“No Daddy, no!”

Voice no longer contained

No longer am I able to keep this at bay.

Poor Doggy screams,

His masters a brute.

Oh God, no,

Not me,

Not next.

 

“Please Daddy, no!”

Then everything blurs.

The floor gently greets me

As worried voices stir.

 

When will this be over?

When can I be sent home?

Journey Through Love

At first I looked for a dream.

 

Aspiration,

Inspiration;

But the dreams soon became ‘marish,

A deathly reflection.

 

Then I looked for laughter,

A clown,

Comedian,

Eyebrows;

Until the laughter turned to tears

In disarming silence.

 

Later, I sought only romance,

Which I found meant:

Psychological chains,

Deep discipline,

Dark demands.

No, I did not want that.

 

Last I found an angel,

A knight;

That had a dream,

That had laughter;

That had me.

 

But the angel broke his wings,

And fell far below the ground;

Unsure of himself,

His world;

Of me.

 

Another thing lost without intention,

Did I do this?

Do I break the stars that shine,

And curse them to a sorry fate?

Do I have the Devils hand,

That smothers the ones I love?

Am I the cause of all this suffering?

 

But now I search for a different dream.

Not a musician,

Not a clown,

Not a waiter,

Not a knight.

Only a man.

 

A man who loves without bounds,

A man without fear;

A man that knows what he is;

And who he wants to be-

With me,

Happy.

 

And I swear with my life:

I won’t break you.

What Do You Do?

What do you do when it all falls
Apart
You’ve got no soul
And you’ve got no heart?

What do you say
At the end of the day
When the last leaf falls
Winter takes May?

What do you do when you only feel
Cold
Foods got no taste
And alcohol is just old?

Where do you go when you feel all
Alone
Whilst hating yourself
And your pain is on show?

Who is there to hold you
Tight
When you cry
In the middle of the night?

Why is this life as painful as the last?
I don’t want another Friday night,
I don’t want to move fast.

When will the rain fall to
Wash away
The emptiness
That’s here to stay?

A Nonsensical Wonderland

Tumbling, Tumbling,

Tumbling down,

Into the rabbit hole.

Rolling, rolling

Rolling around,

Which way do I go?

 

Trees do whisper,

Whilst the cat does laugh,

What is my purpose here?

I’m eating my bread,

And stuffing the fibre,

But still I have plenty to fear.

 

Following, following,

Following the herd,

But really there is no herd.

It’s all in my head,

Maybe I’m dead,

Have these events ever occurred?

 

Wonderland, wondersea,

What will become of me?

The Tweedles do twiddle

They’re all thumbs,

And no fiddle,

All the while I am stuffing this glee.

Fear

Fear is the faceless man
at the back of the room
that knows me too well.

Fear is the creeping cold
that you can’t escape,
and hits you like fate.

Fear is a darkened room
with no hope of light,
and no chance of sight.

Fear is a quiet noise,
the white noise,
that deafens.

Fear is the broken cord
of a wasted life
filled with pure strife.

Fear is the uncried tears
of a lonely girl
whose wings won’t unfurl.

Fear is the building of phobias
that clutch you,
with grubby claws
and claim you as their own.

Stop Haunting Me

I want to forget
You.
I need to forget
You.
I need to move on from
Us.

I want to forget your shining smile,
I want to forget how we drove for miles,
I want to forget our very first dance,
I want to forget our future plans.

How do you still linger
On my clothing?
How does your face appear
On everything?
How do I keep you away?
How do I still want you to stay?

I want to forget.
I need to forget.
I need to move on from.

I need to forget your friendly voice,
I need to forget that you were my choice,
I need to forget your loving eyes,
I need to forget all of your lies.

Why are you still here,
Lurking in my dreams,
Paddling in the seas,
Chasing after me?

You pulled the plug,
You walked away.
I’m still here,
Holding tight of what’s dear.

I want to forget.
I need to forget.
I need to move on from.

I need to move on from the cuddles and kisses,
I need to move on from being your missus,
I need to move on from the warmth of your skin,
I need to move on from our passionate sin.

I want to forget you.
I need to forget you.
I need to move on from us.

The Wild Thing

I lay in bed,
With wild thoughts,
And wild dreams,
Of wild things.

And I see you,
The little boy,
With a lion heart,
My wild thing.

And we dance,
A wild dance,
Older now,
But no less wild.

And I tease you,
In a wild way,
Untill we fight,
In a mild way.

Then I laugh,
Wildly,
Untill you see me,
Uncontrollably,
Wildly laughing,
With my big, strong wild thing.

But still silent,
My wild thing,
Makes me feel like
I could sing,
Wildly,
While he roars,
And we chest beat an encore.

In wild fashion,
In my wild way,
I dream of the wild boy,
Who lives to laugh and play.

I know this way,
Wild will get to stay.

The Description Of A Cloudy Mind

Fog fills the tunnels,
of this empty mind,
where time has no place,
and people lack face.
Here, time is still,
yet things move so fast,
or they don’t move at all.

These rhythmless cogs,
turn doesil,
whilst images quickly fade,
in my fragile mind.
One drop and I’m gone.

Gone, gone, gone.
Where has time gone?
Where have you gone?
Who else will go?

Let it be known:

That I am not strong;
I am of fearful heart,
terrorised by the same nightmares,
the nightmares of a broken child,
but it must be told:

that time has no right here;
days blur to weeks,
weeks blur to months,
months to years;
yesterday can feel like yesteryear,
and yesteryear only yesterday.

That speculation creep the corners,
of my panicked temperament,
raptures any sense of relaxation,
and eliminates the carefree.

That I do natter;
I moan and I cackle,
my heart is as fragile,
as an elder held shackled.

That my soul is cracked on through;
it’s wrecked my head, and my heart too,
it wrecks havoc with my perception,
leaves me open to sorry correction.

I don’t know where I am.
I don’t know where I’m going.
I fall from place to place;
I fall from time to time;
I hold on to every place;
as I fall through the empty space,
that is this clouded mind.

A Penny For Your Thoughts

“A penny for your thoughts?” the old man cries,
A penny for the tears that fall like flies?
A penny for all your endless goodbyes?
“A penny for me?”

“Any spare change?” the old man pleads,
“Any spare change for a nice cup of tea?”
“Any spare change to help us flee?”
Any spare change so we can be free?

“Give me some coins?” the old man begs,
“Give me some coins?” for he’s hurt his leg,
“Give me some coins?” his minds a power keg,
“Give me some coins for a nice scotch egg?”

“A penny for your thoughts?” the old man now whispers,
As the day draws nigh,
But he holds on tight.

“Any spare change?” the old man coughs,
As he pulls ’round his sleeping bag,
And lights up his last fag.

“Spare me some change?”
But he knows it’s no good.
Who will listen in this neighbourhood?
When society ignores its’ ugly face
Of poverty and elite race.