Girls Just Want To Have Fun

Welcome to my first look book. I’ve posted a few outfits here and there, but this is my first big look book. I’ve got a number of different styles of clothes and make up to give you some 80’s-inspo!

Big bows!
Peplum! (I’ styled mine a bit long here, but draping fabrics, often quite heavy ones, does the trick. I pinned my dress up with a velvet corsage. And don’t get me started on Polka dots!
Body suits and leg warmers are the classic flash dance look but I really didn’t feel like I had the confidence to go for it. On seeing how many other flashdancers there were, and in what a variation of body size and shape, it’s easier to leave your insecurities at the door! I paired it with a polka dot headband, neon beads and arm warmers!
Wild hair and side ponytails!
Punk! Ascot, leather fingerless gloves with bows and studs, of course, fish net sleeve top and tartan skirt!
Close up of that black action
The body suit + I’m not even sure what that kind of fabric is but it reminds me of the outfits I’d dress my barbie dolls in as a child. It’s mermaidy, shiny and often in cool colours!
Bright, tetris style eyes. All I’ve used here it a black liquid liner, and a pop colour pallet in pink across the lid, purple for the crease, a block of blue up to the brow, a sweep of green under the lower lashes and a dab of yellow around the tear duct.


Here I’ve swept a deep line of pink under the lower lashes and dragged the colour down my cheeks to form a blush which fades into my natural skin tone. You could use blush, but I didn’t have the bright pink that I wanted based on some of the cool 80’s artists at the time.


Big colour and a blue lightning bolt. I chose pink and blue to match my shoes :3 I used a blue eye pencil for the bolt and shadow for the main colour but for a bolder look, I’d recommend using a liquid/ cream eyeshadow.


Big wings! Here i covered my lid in a light pink and contrasted that with purple in the crease and almost up to my eyebrow. I swept a wing of liquid eyeliner across my upper lash line and outwards. Then, I dusted my lower lash line with light green and carried that out with my liner.


This was the look I chose for my 80’s night. I covered my entire eye area with pink and winged it out past the bottom of my eyebrow. Under my lashes, I then lined it with blue eyeliner. In the final look, I used a black eyeliner pen to define my lashes.


Here I played around with the idea of contouring. I noticed that a lot of the big 80’s stars used blushers of bright colours so, using white, pink and deep purple, to get a more ‘chiseled’ look while also packing my face with colours. However, as you can probably tell, I am not very good at contouring. Yet. I am not very good yet. It would help if I could locate my cheek bones first ūüėź


This was the look (or at least half of it) the my friend went for. This was a Lolly inspired look, using pink, blue and yellow. In the final look, I did away with the blue across the eye lids and made the stripes symetical on both sides, while creating some dramatic lash effects with the winged liner.


This one was my more subtle favourite. covering the eyelid in pale blue and contouring the eye area with a brighter shade of blue below the eyebrow and where you would wing your liner.


This was the second to last style I tried and it was quite late. I don’t have any professional lighting, as you can probably tell. I shaded the first half of my eyelid (closest to my tear duct) with pink, with a dot of green next to it. I then went around all of that with a blue eyeshadow and drew two horizontal lines extending from the bottom of my eye and going between those with a green eyeshadow like you’ll see in the next picture.


Putting the make up together with an orange lipstick, with the dress I really thought I was going to wear. Damn those last minute doubts!
My friend and I are now ready to parrrrrtaaayyy! Waved my hair for big volume, orange lipstick, and added a denim jacket and spiky leather collar for a bit of added coolness.
Towards the end of the night now, and we girls were definitely have fun!

An After Note: I’m hoping that anyone viewing this doesn’t notice the fact that I still haven’t fully unpacked my belongings yet. The problems of moving into a smaller house than the previous one is that I just don’t have the room I’m used to!

I hope you’ve enjoyed this look book as much as I’ve enjoyed putting it together! xo


The Struggles of the Larger ‘Regular-Sized’ Woman

I don’t really know what I want to talk about today, but I know that I do. Maybe it’s a way for me to subconsciously put off my essay research, but I hope not.
I was just browsing Facebook when I came across a post from The Curvy Fashionista about the launch of a new store, Lovesick, and I really love the look of it. What I find most satisfying is when I see a store with models similar to my own shape and size, working their clothes. This is more common with ‘plus size’ stores, like Lovesick, than with shops that stock the ‘regular sizes’. Which I find odd, considering they usually begin in the UK at around 18, maybe even 16, but America is a bit different. Lovesick begins at ‘US10’, which is a UK 14. I myself am 12-14. And yet, many of the ‘plus size’ models, mainly in America, don’t look ‘plus size’, just like larger ‘regular sized’ women and I say larger, in comparison to the smaller women that the shops here use to advertise their clothes on.

It’s quite confusing really, seeing these great clothes on women that look like myself, but are not actually stocked in my own size because I’m ‘too small’; which makes me laugh due to all I’ve ever heard in my life, except for 1 time in a million, is how large I am. And while clothes for ‘regular sized’ women look great on the small models and the hanger, I can never tell what it will look like on me. Half the time shopping is a nuisance. My thighs are larger, in proportion to my hips and bum, and my boobs are much bigger than my waist. Shops don’t account for any of these factors and the models for ‘regular sized’ clothing don’t seem to struggle at all. The clothes seem to fit like a glove or a second skin. The same can be said really, for when some of my friends go shopping. It can be so frustrating seeing how successful try-ons are for them, when the dress I really like in my size won’t even go over my chest.

Or likewise with the tall ranges, which to me are a rare occurance, other than New Look, I can’t even think of one without looking at hideously over priced shops. I remember the excitement of finally finding a playsuit that didn’t produce both front and back wedgies. It was plain black and pretty basic, but I was so happy. I have had struggle after struggle in terms of length, where my torso seems longer, in proportion, to my legs. I remember a day I went in to Primark with one of my friends, of the ideal ‘regular-size’, and we tried on some stuff and I fell in love with a ridiculous looking playsuit covered in gigantic sunflowers, as is my style, and it only managed to reach half way up my chest, without causing unnecessary discomfort and camel-toe.

I dream of the day when women of many different sizes can be seen modelling clothes and this confusion of being a larger ‘regular sized’ woman is no more.

If you are a US10 + I’d definitely recommend looking at these clothes from Lovesick, they are so gorgeous and I’m quite jealous actually.

Self Improvement

Hello all, yes, I have returned from both the excitement I’ve been harbouring for my mother and myself, and the trauma of restarting university again. I can now say I am more than half way through my university career at least. I’ve achieved great grades for my first semester, but through this trauma and feeling of overwhelming dread, I have been wondering if it was worth all of that stress and anxiety. Was it worth the weight I lost because I could not eat? The sleep I missed out on due to nightmares? The craziness I put myself through because I did not have the time to socialise or to even put on clothes, let alone wash them. I do wonder at how students can say university is a dawdle and how people can look down on students and call them lazy or whatever. You get out what you put in. So, naturally, I’ve been a bit worried about coming back into an environment which I am mentally, not particularly equipped to handle. Luckily, George was around to remind me of the end goal. That’s important.

So, have I tried to make things better reader? Well, I assume that you assumed by the title of this piece that I have found a way to help with stressful situations. I have tried a few things.

I am awfully unorganised. I have poor temporal awareness and my spatial awareness can be pretty awful too depending on which one is my main focus. My mum suggested a To Do List app so what do I do? I go onto Google Play and I don’t just download any to do list… I download THE To Do List app, todoist, which is what my spelling looks like when I’m thinking of a million things at once, as is the usual then. It’s come in pretty handy… when I actually remember to make a list of the things I need to remember. I must remember to become better at that.

I then decided to keep a diary. I’ve always kept a diary since I was very young. I like to write about things regularly and I love to have a good reminisce. My diary was never a regular thing though, unfortunately. Maybe once every few weeks, if I really tried. This diary was going to be different though to my usual angry and depressed self tearing pages and smudging ink. This one was going to be a health diary to find out what I ate and when, how I drank, slept, socialised (in person, as apposed to the too regular virtual contact), exercised, toileted ect. I’m sure you get the picture. I realised that it’s a human thing to do all of these things and yet I struggle to remember how long it was since the last time I did any number of normal human functions.

This diary lasted 2 and half days and I am rather proud of myself. What I found was, that instead of documenting accurately what I do daily, I found myself doing everything more often and correcting myself so I had plenty to write about. I’m never usually that interesting. So, after two and a half days I started to find myself in a rut where I couldn’t move from my position in bed and I hated my entire life. I realised at this point the diary was a bust (it was on the table, too far to reach from bed).

A diary would not do. The moment classes started up again, I realised I’d be far too busy to be able to go so in depth as I did. I needed something else. I needed purpose. A reason to smile. A reason to haul myself out of my safe zone. I needed a daily goal. So, three nights ago I started writing down a number of possible things that I could achieve. Some easy and some more difficult. These included: diet and exercise goals, appearance goals, hobby goals, house goals, social goals, habit breaking goals, spiritual goals; something I could do in a day, or for a little bit of the day.

The first goal I had was to sit with my housemates. This was a scary prospect to me for some reason because I have become quite the recluse. It’s one thing to talk to people through the internet, another thing entirely to look at people and to talk to them. So, that evening I asked if they’d like to watch an episode of Shadowhunters with me (review to follow) and they agreed. So we watched an episode and I felt very proud that I both fulfilled my first goal and had a nice time doing it. I didn’t set myself a time limit, so I didn’t have to push myself too hard on the first go.

Yesterdays goal was to stay away from Twitter accounts that I deem as bad. In terms of ‘bad’, I refer to the twitter account of ex friends which I now passionately hate. Hate can be a very addictive feeling and can be very hard to pull away from, particularly when they have caused you harm and have acted like a complete douchebag and it brings me a certain amount of pleasure when I see they are going through a rough patch. I’m sure I’m not the only one to feel that way. We’re only human. Anyway, I knew I could do it for a day. I don’t check twitter everyday, although I did yesterday, I was able to refrain from the devils call.

Today my goal is to play music and sing. I have always loved music and singing. In fact, I saw myself as a singer growing up more than I did a writer. I hated reading as a kid and for most of my teens and I loved singing. I entered my school talent show, I took BTEC Music, it really was the direction I saw my life going in. Funny how directions change. So, this evening I shall be singing, might even get the guitar out if I feel I have the time. University is really asking too much of its Creative Writing/ English students this term.

Anyway, I hope this has been useful to anyone that is also struggling. Keep up the good fight. x

My Experience Of The Wedding Industry Pt 1: Maid Of Honour Duties

Hello my loverrrs! So, mum’s getting married next year. I’m the maid of honour. Recently, I have had the honour of accompanying her to the dress shops. I’ve had my first taste of what is to come for me in a few years time. I’ve not been overly impressed. It seems that dress shopping is actually rather difficult. I turned up in simple clothing and no make up- easy to take off if I needed to try on dresses, and the dresses remained clean and make up-free after they came off. Others clearly hadn’t had the same idea. Some of the dresses on the rails were dirty. Expensive and dirty. I didn’t find this impressive. Some of them were broken, with beading falling off and it was just remarkable. Of course, these things could be fixed but it makes the browsing experience a bit more difficult. Especially when other shops took better care of their goods: ie, putting them all in dress bags or hanging the trains up with the dress.

Another incident is service. I’ve been to four shops now in my local area. In the first, people were very helpful in showing us where to look but they also weren’t too intrusive. It was good service. In the second shop, there was no service at all. She sat at her desk pretty much all of the time and didn’t attend to us at all, despite the fact we were the only ones in the shop. the third shop was delightful, the woman guided us round and helped us a lot, which was necessary because all of the dresses were in bags to keep them all lovely. In the last shop, the woman attended to us for half of the time but she was not at all helpful and suggested mum wore a bridesmaid dress as her wedding gown. Neither of us were pleased with the suggestion. So, if you happen to be going to dress shops unless you are a size 8, and getting married for your first time, and with less of a refined taste, but with lots of money, service for you may be difficult.

Finding out that the sizes of wedding dresses were inaccurate and pretty much just all lies didn’t shock me at all. The whole clothing industry is unreliable when it comes to sizing but, I won’t bore you with the details, I’ve done an article on those frustrations already.

me in my first dress from the back

Another thing: I’ve realised what the maid of honours job is and I recommend to anybody being elected to take this role: Work out your arms or the dresses will do it for you. Wedding dresses are not light and they can get packed together pretty tightly. After all that heavy lifting, I felt like I was half a stone lighter and could sleep for the next 5 days. I always knew that shopping could be a good bit of cardio but wedding dress shopping is the next level on. There was speed walking to dodge the rain, pulling and lifting of the dresses and non stop standing around. It really was a long day. A 9-5 kind of deal.

in bridesmaid dress

Anyway, this was just a short update on things. You’ll hear more about this soon! Cheerio! xx

Worst Dressed at the NTAs

Each year, not recently, but in the golden days of MSN, the awards season was my favourite. I’d pull up MSN news to catch all of the gorgeous gowns of the evenings and I’d evaluate them myself, as an ordinary 15 year old girl. I’ve always loved fashion and I spent a lot of time studying the fashions of red carpet events. Every time an article would appear, I’d spend ages in the comments: reading other peoples thoughts, agreeing and disagreeing where appropriate. I hadn’t even thought about all of that though until this article from the Sun popped up on my Facebook. I then had the miraculous idea of writing up my thoughts about what was worn and what was said about said garments.

Here are my thoughts:

Yes, Keegan’s ensemble did look a little strange: Maxi skirt with Aladdin style top, wasn’t quite a conventional pairing. The skirt was gorgeous and could have been paired with anything but the top did not do it justice. Although, the more I look at it, the more it does grow on me, I must say. But, it is still a strange pairing. I get the need for showing skin and colour coordinating with Mark but the style of the top, for me, was not a strong point in that outfit. It showed off her flat front but added unnecessary volume to her sides. I can’t really see where ‘Mary Tudor’ came from. Mary and Aladdin dressed very very differently, but go for it.

I thought Jorgie Porter looked stunning. However, her make up made ¬†face look very gaunt in that particular picture and more spaced out than space man. I’d need to see more pictures to tell whether it was the make up or just a poor photo, but I have an inkling that it was just a poor picture. The dress was gorgeous and she was very lucky to wear this gown. I don’t quite see the need for such a skimpy body suit underneath, particularly in such cold weather but hey, She’s the ¬†celebrity, not me!

I feel as though the writer, Hayley Richardson, over did it with Tess Daly’s dress stating: ‘Tess Daly also wasn’t afraid to flash the flesh’, ‘…a racy cut-out panel…’ and ‘While she’s got the legs for it, it left little to the imagination.’ These statements over exaggerated what Tess was actually showing off, massively, in my opinion by looking at the pictures provided. Her upper half was covered, no cleavage to bare, no tummy, no bum, only a bit of leg and it was a mesh panel, not a full open slit. I’d call it a classy gown, not a racy one. Tess certainly does have the legs for the dress so why not show a bit of them? And the dress is done in such a way that she can show off, and still have plenty to keep for ‘the imagination’, not that Tess Daly’s body is what goes around my imagination but, what ever floats your boat, I suppose.

Graham Norton was an interesting choice to write about, a long side Billy Connelly. Both are well known for their humour, eccentricity and general brightness. Of course, Norton was going to wear something funky and eye catching and of course, Connelly was going to wear some kind of Tartan. I didn’t see neither of those things as a shocker at all, nor does it look hideous on them. Their confidence has given life to what they wear. I think that Connelly’s trousers were pretty spot on too, not only showing off his awesome eccentricity, but also some intelligence. I’m sure there were at least a few members that attended the NTAs that would have difficulty spelling the word ‘parasite’, so go Billy! The thing about what Connelly wore is that… it was meant to be bonkers, it was meant to look mismatched, it was meant to catch the eye. He had a message last night and what better way to get it across than by getting fashion writers snapping up his outfit? Because, lets face it, that’s why most of us watch these things. We humans, take a large amount of interest in the aesthetic. Connelly’s not stupid.

Katie Price’s description was pretty spot on: ‘Meanwhile Katie Price looked like she’d raided her kitchen cupboards in search of a bin bag.’ No truer words have been spoken throughout this whole article. It’s the one thing I think I actually agree with. I don’t particularly like Katie Price, I did not rate the dress highly and I wasn’t keen how she had attempted to match it with a top knot either. it really was just a sack. Her hair had more shape. It certainly was an… unusual look but I don’t think she pulled that off at all.

Alesha Dixon was another celeb that I felt was being picked on a bit because I think her ‘judge-ment’ was brilliant. She went classic black blazer, high waisted black shorts, and a pretty navy top and gave the look edge by matching it to sheer black pleated palazzos. I’m a huge fan of palazzo style trousers and this outfit absolutely rocks them. They look so flattering on her and add texture to the dark outfit, yet Richardson wrote: ‘These high-cut shorts adorned with pleated sheer trousers barely covered her modesty.’ Making such a bold statement does little for the writers modesty, but what can we do? ¬†I don’t see any issue with Dixon’s outfit.

‘Lady C’. Who the hell is ‘Lady C’!? The gown, for a start, looks more pink than white and says prom rather than red carpet. Secondly, this clearly, was a publicity stunt which Richardson gave into. I didn’t know who she was by looking at her. Her name rings a bell from some reality tv show but, other than that, does she have any accomplishments? I guess this will be a job for Google. Her over accessorisation suggests to me, that she’s trying to pretend she’s royalty. She has money and a title, therefore she must attend the red carpet looking like middle aged woman reliving her prom night. I’m sure in a few years time I too, shall wear my old prom dress and glide through my house on a fake red carpet.

Update: I have Googled. She is very well informed on the Royal family. That explains things, and her titled was gained from a 14 month marriage… Hm.

The next one on the list Boy George. His shirt was untucked, wouldn’t have called it untidy though, nor would I have said it looked like he was wearing tracksuit bottoms. I don’t find satin particularly comfortable at the gym, but whatever, I understand the point about the trainers but this is the NTA, not the Oscars. Not even the BAFTAS. He could wear his bloody PJs down the red carpet and people would just have to suck it up. I can see why he wants to appear hip and cool. He’s trying to break through into TV from wherever he’s been hiding and clothes are the quickest way to do that. I think the top half is particularly smart and I dig the hat. His eye make up is particularly amazing and I think I need his make artist to live with me forever. Red on the other hand, is an unfortunate choice for many red carpet walkers. It’s very easy to appear to look like a piece of the carpet.

If you liked this, look into the ‘worst dressed on the red carpet’ give this article a like and check out my other stuff! The link is attached above so take a look and let me know what your thoughts are too! Cheers lovelies! xx



Why I won’t accept ‘You’ve lost weight’ as a compliment

Weight has never been an issue with me. I like myself the way I am and I’m comfortable. Sure, I get periods of insecurity but I think it’s generally agreed that all women, in fact, all people, that we suffer lapses of self judgement. We are, at times, our own enemies, our harshest critics, but we can also be our own best friends and at ¬†times, we are all we can rely on. So, growing up, I never wanted to be anyone else, physically. Mentally, as some of you may know, I’ve wanted nothing better than to trade minds with someone else that seems more stable, more like they’ve got their shit together and figured out.

Yet, I’ve nearly always held my physical appearance in high regard. I try to eat well, balanced, and I like to keep myself on the go. I go through periods where I may not eat much, out of stress, or eat more than I normally would, out of stress; and I may not do as much exercise, due to work as I find it stressful, or I may do lots more exercise because I’m trying to procrastinate against feeling stressed. This leads to a kind of yoyo effect in weight. The changes aren’t usually that great, up to half a stone recently but it’s enough for people to notice. I don’t usually notice a difference in appearance, except for what the scales say. What I do notice, is how I feel. Sometimes, when I’ve put a couple pounds on, I’m really really happy and nothing could get me down. Recently, I’ve been fucking miserable and I’ve lost quite a few.

People don’t think about this though and it’s frustrating. It’s my understanding that when someone makes the comment of ‘You’ve put on weight’ that it’s meant negatively and they are insulting you. Likewise, the moment someone says ‘You’ve lost weight’ they are being positive, or trying to be, and are trying to pay you a compliment. I’m having trouble processing this right now, because I can be feeling most confident about myself, when someone has the nerve to pull out the ‘You’ve put on weight’ card to knock you down. And it does knock you down because what it feels like they’re really saying is ‘You look fat and ugly today’. Fat, for some reason in this society, seems to correlate with ugly. And God forbid anyone on this planet should be deemed ugly! What would a person have left? Their intelligence? Personality? Strength and speed? Kindness? Skills and talents? Let’s hope that no one should be afforded a compliment based on these merits! Let’s instead compliment someone’s ability at losing some of their body. What frame of mind they’re in doesn’t matter, they must be happy if they’ve lost some weight! And likewise, they must be miserable if they’ve put some on because who could be happy when they’re fat and ugly?

It makes me feel sad when I hear people base their worth out of how much body mass they, or a person that they are looking at, has. There is much more to a person than their appearance. There is so much more that one could compliment, or criticise. A person’s appearance is temporary. It is never fixed because it can not be. It is dependent on the individual’s internal processes and the environment in which they live. These things change. You will change. Why is such importance based on something that, in this life, in this world, does not really matter. How many people, in history, are remembered for being slim? For being big? For being ugly? Beautiful? History does not care. Why do we?

I’ve been brewing this one for a while. It makes me feel sad when I hear the ones I love worry about their weight and how they COULD look in the future. We do not live in the future, we live in the present. Of course, look after yourself today and you SHOULD feel better for it tomorrow but what is the point in wasting your life, focusing on something that, for some, is unlikely to ever happen. I find that the people most conscious about weight, their own and that of others, ¬†are those that really have nothing about getting fat to worry about (underweight-lower healthy weight) and may not ever have anything to worry about. For some people putting on weight is impossible, a challenge. And for others, it can be easy, a challenge not to.

It’s a hard frame of mind, I’m sure, to break out of, judging the worth of yourself and others based on the size, weight and shape of a person’s body and I feel a degree of sorriness to those that feel that they have to criticise, or turn to something meaningless and temporary to compliment or insult. How about instead complimenting the size of their smile? Their healthy habits when you see them? The things they’re good at? Things that matter? This is why I can only take judgements and comments about weight as an insult. The person clearly doesn’t know me well enough to make a comment about something that actually matters.

I get that loved ones can be worried about health which is linked to weight. That’s understandable. A person can’t love you if they don’t worry about you from time to time. HOWEVER, My bones aren’t popping out everywhere. See this as a sign that I am eating well. Compliment that, if you’re really struggling. I can move freely. I can breathe. I can run fast, if my life depends on it. I have no disabilities due to obesity. Compliment my ability to live.

I had this conversation (kind of) with a loved one recently. It was a touchy conversation but after some thought I realised that this was all I wanted to say. I’m not upset about someone worrying about my health. I’m in a bit of a pickle, mentally. But, a person IS going to be aware of their health. Only they know what they are eating (or not). Only they know how much exercise they are doing (or not). If a person is in a deep state of denial, then maybe a doctor should be involved. However, generally, a person knows their own truths. If you’re worried about someone ask them subtly. ‘Do you want to go for a run with me tonight?’ or ‘Prawn pasta salad for dinner?’ is much nicer than saying: ‘You’ve put on weight.’ This is a tip for those reading that know that this applies to them. I hope this helps you. Making a comment isn’t going to make a person more determined. If you love them, you’ve got to get involved with them. Complimenting their soul will make them feel so much better than complimenting the outer shell that’s only going to die in a few years any way.

Cheers guys, thanks for reading. I hope this has helped. It feels good getting crap off my chest. x



Why Body Positive?

This morning has compelled me to write another body positive blog. I know that a few of my readers gain a lot from reading about this. But why? I took a survey today about that very question and it helped me to answer my own question. I blog about body positivity to help inform those that are insecure about themselves and need reassurance. I read blogs and look at pictures to reassure myself, to compare myself. It’s ok to admit that. That’s what they are there for. They help you to validate yourself and to teach you that confidence is allowed, regardless or size, age, race. You are a beautiful creature and you are allowed to think that when you look in the mirror. You are allowed to like yourself. In fact, you’re even allowed to LOVE yourself. What a crazy notion: that a person is to love their large thighs, or their small arms, their frizzy hair or their freckles, their wobbly tummy. You are allowed to love these things. This is why I encourage you all to post pictures today of a part of you that you love. Write about it. Sing about it. Draw it. The more you do to accept yourself, the more others will learn to accept themselves, too. Which is important. Acceptance is a ripple effect.

If you sit their and moan about all the things you don’t like about yourself.; if you moan about the things that are changing, or won’t change, then others will moan about those things too because they will think it’s acceptable, and right.¬†But what is right about hating yourself and wishing that you don’t exist because you don’t have a particular ‘something’? A few years ago I used to Tumble a great deal, more than I do now. One of my friends, and a few of my followers ran very depressing blogs, and I’m not ashamed to say that I hated seeing it. These posts were not aiding these people. They were not making the individual better. Some claim they do, to help vent. But the problem lies that: you have these thoughts in the first place. One such example would be a picture of a very very thin person, reduced to skin and bone with the caption of: ‘I want to disappear’. People think this way. People obsess about losing weight and are devastated when they put weight on and it’s heartbreaking. Kids and other vulnerable people catch sight of these things and it can be a huge influence. People start to see themselves in a different way and people start to doubt themselves. For such a while, I too felt awful about myself. These people were already very small, and wanted to be smaller. How did they see me? How huge and ugly must they have thought I looked if this was what they wanted for themselves? If this was their goal?

Recently though, I’ve found a great deal of body positive blogs on Tumblr, where all bodies are celebrated and I’m not ashamed to admit that I love seeing pictures of curvy women, women that look like me and women that are bigger than me. I’m so used to seeing pictures of women that are smaller than me, that it is a relief to see something different being celebrated. That doesn’t mean that people can be allowed to demean or insult the pictures of women that are smaller, by any means. It’s just a breath of fresh air that people are starting to be happy with themselves. It’s the start of a long battle. Once people can admit that they are wonderful, they can then see where things need to be changed to make themselves even MORE wonderful. If it wasn’t for the confidence of other women, I may not have found my own. And this has lead me to be aware of myself, and the influence I have. It’s made me see that I am happy with how I am, but that it wouldn’t hurt if I could lose a few pounds to get to a healthier weight. I’m not going to obsess about it and set a massive goal, but I am going to try and walk as much as possible and I am eating healthier since moving into my new house. However, I’m also not ashamed to say that I did eat a large amount of cake yesterday. I found it hilarious, and totally delicious. You are allowed to treat yourself. You only live once.

So, when you see someone being confident about themselves, compliment it. Raise them up a peg. Then show how confident you can be. Post a picture in return. See how many compliments you get, too and let everyone raise you up. It does happen and it does work. You’re all beautiful humans. Show them who you are, inside and out and it will be rewarded. You’ll feel so much better and maybe, after a while, you’ll even begin to believe it!

Love and Light, lovelies! x

OOTDs 15/09/15 & 16/09/15

  ootd2ootd 1

The reason I’m doing a joint Outfit Of The Day piece today is because my little sister gave me two tops on Monday that I think are super cute. I don’t know where they’re from or where you can get one but I urge you too. I’ve got a black one, which I’ve had since I was ten years old. At ten years old I was probably close to a size 6 in womenswear. I’m now a size 12- 14 and it’s still going strong! Think it’ll be the top I die in! So, I wore it to my mums and my little sister had these two ombre ones. She said she didn’t really like them but seeing as I did, and despite being double her size, she gave them to me and they fit brilliantly. I think they’re just so cute and the ombre affect really highlights the assets and slims down the waist and tummy, which is fab! Ombre on the top is definitely a go. It’s flattering as hell. The pink one I wore with a pair of skinny jeans, and the mauve one I wore with a pair of flares. These tops are long lasting, versatile and I find the strange texture something that really spices up an outfit. A big recommendation from me but I have no idea what they are called or where they can be found :S

See you soon and thanks for checking out my ootd! x

How Far Does Body Positivity Go?

Ok. I’m going to start with an anecdote of what happened yesterday. So, today I am sat up with my feet up after walking all day in the most uncomfortable boots ever and giving myself a number of blisters. Silly me. While I was in town with my friend I went into The Works, the discount book shop, which just so happens to be one of my favourite shops in town. I walked past a woman that was so heavy that she could not walk and had to use crutches. I could hear her struggling to breathe from the other side of the store. I felt so sorry for how she had let her body go like that. Suddenly, I started to realise where the ‘fat shamers’ were coming from. I understood their argument. I don’t agree with how they come across, but I did understand, perhaps, a need for it. I watched a very good video the other day from a YouTuber that I’m not particularly a big fan of. I’ll leave the link to it below so that you can watch it.

My stomach, at the most unflattering angle possible, on a day when I felt hideous.
My stomach, at the most unflattering angle possible, on a day when I felt hideous.

‘Fat Shaming’ has become this big thing that has risen along side the body positive and plus size appreciation revolution. This has been seen as a form of cyber bullying and many YouTubers, including the infamous ‘Nicole Arbour’ has made videos trying to make bigger men and women to feel bad. There have also been a lot of videos made to shame the ‘Fat Shamers’. This is where I find OnisonSpeaks, the YouTuber I aforementioned earlier on to hit the nail on the head. There is nothing wrong with being body positive. I am a body positive advocate and I try very hard not to offend any body shape or size, because I would not like anyone to slag off my body shape of size. It’s as simple as that. Nobody is perfect and if you’re going to make fun of a certain group of people then you’d have to expect it back. I’m still waiting on a video parodying and insulting Nicole Arbour, because, let’s face it, she does deserve it. On the other hand, who would want to sink to her level? I wouldn’t. After watching a lovely Loey Lane video called ‘Fat People Can’t Be Body Positive’ that commented on the infamous video, She refused to name the perpetrator and asked her subscribers not to even give her the time of day and I found this to be very wise advice. I did watch her video, but through another YouTuber reviewing it, because Loey was right. She really doesn’t deserve the ‘fame’.

My friend on a day when she, herself, felt most horrible about herself.
My friend on a day when she felt most horrible about her body.

The issue is that beauty is subjective. People that say one body type is more beautiful over the other is just stating their opinion. Lots of people will say things like ‘all bodies are beautiful’. Yes, all bodies are beautiful in their own way because they hold life. They hold consciousness. That is something to be respected. However, everyone will have their preferences in the physical attributes of their partner, and sometimes, even just friends. This is where ideas of natural selection and sexual selection take place. Every species on this planet has their own idea of what is attractive and what is not. People, as a species, has a very large pool to choose from. Some people for more comfortable looking as bigger people, others feel more comfortable looking at smaller people. Some hate both and prefer to be on their own. Some like everyone and don’t have one particular preference. None of these are bad. We are individuals. We have preferences. We have opinions. Is it ok to be shallow? No, but are people going to be? Yes, because for some reason, that’s how the world works right now.

Going back to my original anecdote though raises the question, is there a point at which body positivity becomes dangerous? Is there a point where it actually becomes body negative? I think that it has to start with feeling good about yourself. Nothing good comes from bad thoughts. What I see a lot from the comments over YouTube at body positive figures is that they don’t exercise or they eat too much and that, due to their size and shape, they are promoting an unhealthy lifestyle purely based on how they look. I think that’s just silly. You can’t assume you know how someone lives based on their size and shape. My sister is half my size and just last weekend she ate three takeaways. Lillian Bustle did a Tedx Talk called ‘Stripping Away Negative Body Image’ and talked about how women, particularly plus size women should get into Burlesque dancing. Lots of people commented about how she, as a bigger woman, was promoting an unhealthy lifestyle. Yet her whole video was about encouraging women to embrace this exercise and gain confidence. I thought it was great and a great place to start getting bigger women into exercise and a healthy routine, yet there were people calling her lazy and, in my eyes, just trolling her. I thought it was ridiculous. If a big, influential woman started promoting an unhealthy lifestyle, encouraging people to eat junk food all the time and do no exercise; there would be outrage, and no one would follow that person. That’s not being body positive. That’s ruining yourself. However, if a small, influential woman did the same, I don’t think it would be such a big thing and I think it would actually become fashionable. Of course, you’d always get the crazy people that will make comments online, often about how converting to veganism will save their life. The thing is though, that’s not what’s happening. These women are trying to live a healthy a lifestyle as they can. They are aware of the health implications of obesity. I have a lot of respect for the work these women do.

Something I saw on Tumblr the other day said that ‘can we stop making obesity a thing, it’s not real’ or something to that effect. Unfortunately, it is real. It’s not something that can be ignored. I heard it’s heavy breathing yesterday in my favourite book store. Health is a thing. No, we don’t have a right to insult someone or put across a lousy opinion that will hurt another’s feelings. I would never have gone up to that woman and insulted her the way someone people insult big women on the internet. It’s heinous. People are aware of their own circumstances. Of course though, I was worried about her health, because the woman did look like she was ready to collapse and I really hope that she’s able to turn things around for herself. Was I going to tell her any of that though? Of course not. You keep you opinions to yourself because they aren’t necessary. If people acted online the way they would in real life, maybe the internet would be a nicer place.

I hope that this article gets read. You don’t need to be obsessing over your health, but you can’t pretend that it doesn’t exist either. Neither is healthy and neither is going to make you feel better inside. Big or small, fat or skinny, curvy or straight, you will be attractive to someone. Ignore the haters and just concentrate on your happiness and your health will follow. Stay safe guys, see you soon x

All videos can be found in the ‘LoveYourFigure’ playlist on YouTube. Links are:

  • OnisonSpeaks, ‘Is fat Shaming Bad + Which Women Are Fat?’¬†
  • Loey Lane ‘Fat People Can’t Be Positive’¬†
  • Lillian Bustle ‘Stripping Away Negative Body Image’¬†
  • Ozzy Man Reviews ‘Ozzy Man Reviews: Dear Fat People’ (For anyone that didn’t see THAT video)¬†

Working On Our Brow Game

The other day I pulled out my tweezers and started doing my eyebrows. A month or so ago, after accidentally over plucking in one spot I decided to let my eyebrows grow out a little, in the hope that the patch would grow back. Did it? I don’t actually think it did. So, leaving all that time, my brows looked fierce, so one might say. I got on to Instagram and uploaded a couple of ‘mid-game’ selfies, needless to say that eyebrow shaping has become an art. Everyone wants the full, dark,¬†arched eyebrow. I’m fairly lucky to have what I’ve got going on but, I can admit that it takes an awful lot of concentration to come out with that the media have identified as a class act brow.


I’ve got a few stories for you on the subject of eyebrows. I’ll start with one of my best friends. She is blonde and has fairly dark eyebrows for a blonde. Hers are quite short and are straight. She asked me if I could ‘salvage’ them, or something to that effect. I laughed. I love playing around with make up but I’ve never had to do eyebrows before so I knew it would be tricky. She’d sent me pictures on Pinterest of models with the ‘right’ sort of brow so i knew what had to be done. I took the various equipment she presented me with and got to work. The results were something she could not handle. I’m laughing as I look back. I did her a full face makeover, as well as her hair and I was dead impressed. She on the other hand could not get over that I had ‘done’. She complained they were ‘too dark’, ‘too big’. Of course they were too dark, her pencil was no where near the colour she wanted and what I came to realise was that this ‘brow goal’ just didn’t work for everyone. Not everyone fits this sort of eyebrow shape and that’s ok. By the end all I could say was: Now can you be happy with what you’ve got please? People think so much that they identify each and every minor detail that they could change about themselves not thinking about whether these things would actually improve them or not. They don’t think: Hey, maybe this does look great. Maybe, I don’t want this to ever change. Maybe, I want such and such to look like this, not how everyone thinks it should look. It’s ok to just be you.

Friends natural eyebrows
Friends natural eyebrows
hollys brows
Holly’s brow expectation was too high…

My next story would be the one of my sister Beck. Beck draws her eyebrows herself. She is also blonde and feels that her eyebrows look odd because they are quite light. She started off my drawing them on so dark that, when she did finally decide that they were too dark and she could tone them down, people noticed and, according to her, people actually laughed. At what point can the colour of ones eyebrows make you actually laugh at them? I coloured my eyebrows in pink a little while what while I was at uni, to raise awareness on Twitter for domestic violence. I can’t remember the page that was trying to advertise there charity event but it’s a cause I’m passionate about so I was keen and I kept them pink for most of the day. I don’t remember anyone laughing or making silly comments. They were pink. So what’s so wrong with blonde eyebrows? I don’t know. I feel much more comfortable looking at my sister with lighter eyebrows than when she draws them in dark. My mum had told me the other day that she had actually gone to school without them drawn on. My sisters sixteen and I was very impressed. Does that mean she’s becoming more comfortable with herself? Who knows. But good on her.

Dark desires
               Dark desires
Feeling passionate with pink
      Feeling passionate with pink

My last sister story is a conversation I had with my second youngest sister on the subject of plucking. Nat told me she plucked her eyebrows everyday. Ever since she was young she found it calming to pluck her eyebrows and play with her eyelashes. I was always worried she’d end up with none, but somehow she is still in abundance. Thinking about it makes me think about when I had my eyebrows plucked for the first time. My mum expected me to wail out in pain but I oddly enjoyed it. It was a really relaxing experience, so I do understand. Does anyone else enjoy it?

Plucking is a relaxing past time...
Plucking is a relaxing past time…

In school, another one of my best friends had very thin eyebrows. She was the complete opposite to me growing up. She was small, I was big. I was pretty pale, she was darker than me. I had long hair, her was fairly short. I had big brows, she had thin ones. I will never forget the time she came up to me and said: ‘Why don’t you pluck your eyebrows smaller? Thinner eyebrows look better.’ I’d felt kind of offended by her comment but I was comfortable with myself to the point where I didn’t see a need to modify myself. And six or so years later and suddenly the big brow is all the rage. Sucker. haha

Anyway, I guess what today’s article is about is just the kind of pressure that women place on each other to look beautiful. Beauty is today’s biggest battle, biggest struggle. It has nothing to do with men. I’m sure most men won’t actually care what colour, shape or size your eyebrows are. They are literally the most random pieces of hair on our faces. They have no real use, and yet, such importance is placed on having them. I would appreciate it if someone had an answer to what they are actually meant for, other than another feature to obsess over and worry about. Our body issues, or facial beauty issues come from each other. It comes from the comments you make to your friends and relatives. It comes from the media trying to force you into their perception of beauty. And it comes from you. It comes from your own mind whether or not you’re happy with what you want and want to maintain it or if you fancy a change.

Be kind to yourselves, thanks for reading x