Hello population, I’ve finally found something interesting to talk about in terms of the dating scene. It’s been a long while since I’ve written one of these articles and it seems like my advice may be required once again. Please excuse any possibly offensive/ obscene language. As soon as I find more PG terms, I shall change them.
Here’s the situation. Nice guy exists (often in the form of one of my friends), meets a girl he’s attracted to. Guy dates girl. Girl is not interested. Girl breaks up with him. Guy feels like it was his fault, maybe he’s just too nice or something and got himself friend zoned. Nah bro, the friend zone is not a definitive zone. You aren’t bound there forever. You can walk in and out whenever you like. You are in control of your dating situation. You just have to take control: Be confident, be dominant, be clear. However, there is a difference between showing dominance and being a pompous, over masculine ass. The issue here is generalisation. Not all straight women (ect.) want a guy that’s up front about who they are and what they want. Some like a shy guy, a guy that a woman can wrap around their finger or a guy that will step a side and let the woman wear the pants. Other women may want a guy to take that step. I will try and give you a few tips here on how to excel in the playing field, from a girl that has dated an array of different kinds of guys, none of which were ever able to provide the perfect dating tactics. There were always things that I, as a woman, would have wanted him (whoever he was) to do.
- The Friend Zone
If there’s a girl you like, and have been friends with (and possibly even loved) forever then there’s a good chance she’s friend zoned you. She’s probably seen you as a brother figure, there to look after her and have fun with but not necessarily dating material. Which is weird, because that’s what most women want in a partner. The crucial part you have to play, is changing her perception. You’ll have to be careful and decide whether what you want is worth your friendship. How you change this perception is by being honest. Ask her on a date, and not just as friends.
Make it clear that you want to be her fella, not just her friend, her brother, because you aren’t her brother (hopefully not, in which case, this article may not be for you), you’re perfectly legible to date this girl and if she likes spending time with you then why not see if she wants to take the next step? Normally, I’d suggest a small romantic gesture, but you are not like other men. You are the Friend Zoned man. You already possess all of the habits and information necessary for a highly successful relationship with this woman. What you need to do is make her want you. Show her why you’re sexy. Show her why she shouldn’t want other girls. Show her things your other friends don’t get to see (I’m not sure what I mean by this, but maybe you do, after all, if you’re in this predicament, you may have someone already in your mind). It’s time to stop acting like the brother, and start acting like a possible lover. Enchant her, captivate her. Give her something to be jealous about, protective over.
If she really can’t see you in the way you want to be seen after that then it’s definitely time to move on, but at least you know. A bad truth is better than a good lie. You deserve happiness and it’s time to stop hoping that she’ll be the one to give you that.
2. The Nice Guy
You may be the guy, in a similar predicament to you fellow brother in the Friend Zone, however, this may be on a regular occurrence because you’re ‘just that nice a guy’. this is not a problem with you. Please don’t think you have to stop being nice to girls just because the ones you like keep friend-zoning you after a few dates. The world needs more guys like you. Back in school, as a woman, I too fell in to this category. One even dated my cousin instead, that was gut wrenching. However, hope is not lost you. Keep faith.
What you will need to do is go out and meet lots of new women. Maybe start on line, but joining local and national clubs and societies may also help. In fact, that’s more helpful. You get to meet someone that’s interested in the things that you are. It’s also a lot easier to ask someone after a club event, for a drink afterwards or a walk. Like the friend zoned guy, you need to prove to these women that you can be more than just the brother, more than just the friend. You need to show these women how much you can give and if she’s interested, she will also show you how much she wants to give you too. However, if she doesn’t, know when to walk away. Of course, be her friend, but if she’s not willing to put some effort in, then you don’t need to bother. You can’t make someone like you, or even love you.
So, do read the Friend Zone section if you skipped it, if will help inform this one. You bother need to sell yourselves and show why you are a desirable companion and if they like you, they will do the same. The issue with both kinds of relationship is a lack of dominance and confidence. You need to make your actions clear and feelings known.
3. The Fuck-Girl
I can’t think of an alternative name for this section so feel free to rename it in the comments. You should all know who I’m talking about though, when I use this term. The girl that messes you around, doesn’t know what she wants but is willing to hurt you a load of times until she realises. She realises it’s not you. Rarely does a girl ever decide after all of this dilemma, that what she really needs is you. If you’re in love with a girl like this. Stop, take a breath and run in the opposite direction. Not even worth it. She may seem like it, but she’s not. She’s simply using you to pass time until something ‘better’ comes along. 9/10 times, the next guy is not to your standard and you’ll sit there for days wondering which pavement she scraped this guy up from, but it’s fine. She’s not your concern any more, you’re free. Go out and find a girl that values you. Not all women are going to want to be your girl Monday to Thursday but prefer someone else Friday to Sunday, or perhaps, would rather be independent over this part of the week.
No reason she gives will make up for the way she is treating you. It’s selfish; she’s being selfish. You do not need to stick around or feel obligated to be there for her when, in two days later, she’s likely to be ‘too busy’ for you and you need to ‘take a break’. These women have not matured enough yet so it’s best to let them figure out who they are and what they want from life, by themselves. You may feel bad, or you may not, depending on how many times you’ve argued about it, but it’s best to give second chances and then walk away. Let her run after you and show that you are able to put your foot down. You’re a human being and you don’t deserve to be treated like that. She’d complain if it was the other way around. You have so much more to offer and you could be more appreciated elsewhere.
I’ll give you three types for now, I think. See if this is able to help anyone out. If you’ve got a situation, feel free to catch me on social media or whatever and I’ll reply via article. Thanks for reading! x
TheSamanthaWiltshire 