Coloured Shadows

This feeling, I’m scared;
I feel it in my bones;
He’s there-
A light surrounded by dark,
The colourful past,
Against my black and white contrast.
I’m scared.

He won’t hurt me, he says;
He doesn’t know my fear,
My panic, my worry;
He doesn’t know how I hurt,
How I need and I want,
My deepest desires,
The plans I wish to conspire.
Yes, I’m scared.

I want to be with him;
Really, I do,
But I chase things away;
I break them, I smash them;
Things fall apart,
When my hands touch them.
I’m scared.

But your hands fit mine,
And everything feels right,
And you stay in my head long through the night.
But I’m still scared.

I want him to stay,
I can’t handle him being away;
My heart, my head, my body it craves:
His undivided attention;
Oh, this feels so grave.
That’s why I’m afraid.

I get in too deep,
So this seductive poison does seep,
Into the heart of every man that holds me;
Until he no longer believes he holds the key,
And his only option is to ‘set me free’.

And I swear yet again,
To those disastrous men,
You will not take my heart!
You will not take my life!
but here I am,
Falling yet again,
For the colourful shadow from my shady childhood.
I’m scared.

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