I had difficulty choosing what I wanted to write about today. Out of my list of topics, none of them seemed to fit with my current mood. I wasn’t even sure what my current mood was. I got talking to a friend about over thinking and it hit me. This is what I have to write about.
One of the secrets to happiness is to avoid this art all together. I’m calling it an art because it is perfected over time and has no instrumental value whatsoever. It will not better you or your life. It will not make you happy, only sad. Over thinking can destroy you. This friend’s retaliation was that if you have something good, then no amount of thinking could take that goodness away. My point was that it can. When you are sad, depressed even, you don’t see good things, only bad. Good things either become meaningless or mean only bad things in this mind set. The more you think about it, the more your thoughts become corrupted. One bad thought infects all the rest. I love pineapple. Pineapple is my go to food BUT if I think about it enough, I could probably think of reasons why I shouldn’t eat it. In a little experiment, I decided to see how that panned out and I remembered how, eating too much of it gives me a belly ache. The acid eats away at my mouth and, eating the amount of it that I want to eat would actually hurt me. This made me sad. That’s how over thinking works. You take a good thing and you pick at it until it’s gone.
This is particularly relevant to relationships. If you feel insecure as a person, you will feel insecure in a relationship, be that a romantic relationship, a friendship or even in your family setting. Over thinking can destroy trust. I, myself, have fallen prey to these particularly nasty types of thoughts about my boyfriend, about my friends, about my own mother even. I’m not afraid to admit that. By thinking too much into language or action it can distort your view of people, and how you relate to them. Trust is a fragile thing. By seeing things that aren’t there, you could easily lose that person. By over thinking, you may think you’ve already lost that person. Paranoia is not pretty. I much prefer a smile to accompany my outfits.
Another issue with over thinking is that you can end up being overly harsh on yourself. Over thinking can happen in many ways. Insecurities about our selves can happen though it. Not thinking you’re good enough, thinking that you are unworthy. You don’t deserve to think this way because you are. You don’t deserve this sad way of living. You don’t need to push people away. You don’t need to be anyone else. You can get past it, I often do. I won’t lie, it’s become quite a habit, seeing the worst in situations. I find that keeping the mind busy is the best way to dodge it. Do things you’re good at. Do things you’re interested in. Do things that require your full attention. I like to concentrate on projects. While I was in school, I liked to take photo’s of landscapes and weather. I never had any training but I knew that made a pretty picture. You could find all of my pictures on Facebook, if you know where to look. I also liked to play with make up and from time to time I would create large artworks on my face. I found my face an exciting canvas to paint on. I still do like to experiment with make up nowadays. It was half way through school that I realised that I enjoyed writing fiction. I began writing books. After I finished school and started college, I started writing poetry and I let my writing grow. Sports help. I’ve always played a lot of sports. You can really let your frustrations out there. I found Wicca helps too. This was one of my earliest outlets. Learning to be still is something that is taken for granted.
These days, I just want to make things. Mix CD’ for my boyfriends car, artwork, this blog, a new hat for Samhain. I find that embarking on projects is the best way to deal with this. There are lots of different art forms you can pick up. Just don’t pick up this one.
Thanks for reading guys, see you soon x