Weight and body confidence is a huge media issue at the moment. I’ve watched and compiled countless videos made by frequent and less frequent bloggers on what body confidence is and how it should be achieved (Check out ‘LoveYourFigure’ on YouTube for more info). I’ve watched many journeys made by overweight and obese women to lose weight, and underweight girls trying to put on the pounds. I’ve also heard many skinny and fat women say they are happy with the way they are. They have no desire to lose or gain weight to be the ‘ideal’. I too, despite being a bit overweight myself would not like the thought of losing too much of physical self. Yet when I jump on the scale and see that I have gained a few extra pounds over Christmas, I still get that sense of horror that most women feel. But why? In this article, I don’t have any tips for you guys. I just want to try and expand your self image, and ideals not just for yourself, but for others.
The internet can be a flipping harsh place. Trolls are always out to get you. If you stick up for someone that clearly has a weight issue, then you too clearly are in the same boat and must be put down too. If you have an interest in some form of your appearance then someone will always try to put you down, and they will attack you until they hit your soft spot. Some people have more of these insecure soft spots than others. After growing up with many insecurities of my own body image, I’ve come to realise that these weaknesses can be my strengths. These huge thighs could knock an attacker to the ground and keep them there. My wobbly tummy is a soft pillow for my boyfriends head. By big bum is a cushion for when I fall down. My cheeks make my smile more inviting. All these things that I found myself worrying about on a daily basis, I realised, made me who I am. Of course, you can change things and many people do. Ideally, I’d like to eat a bit healthier and get back to my exercise routine when I get back to uni. These things shouldn’t scare you. You should want to live better. You should want to look after yourself.
On the subject of change, we all change. A caterpillar cannot become a butterfly without some change. That doesn’t mean that you have to completely reinvent yourself but if you want to, then go ahead. This means that you can’t try and keep the same body your whole life. You will gain weight and you will lose it. You will grow old. Trying to prevent something as necessary as these things is futile because one way or another, they will happen. People get sick. People become pregnant. People get stressed. People age. You’re on a journey and you should enjoy it, not prevent it. Your body is only an illustration of your journey. You don’t have to feel ashamed when you’ve hit a rough patch and you think your body shows it. You get back up and try to be the person you want to be. You focus on the bits you love. Focus on you and everyone else will fade into the background. No one knows how you think and how you feel. Only you know that. No one else has the right to try and judge you and if someone tries, then I’m sure they’re just trying to disguise their own soft spots. No one’s born perfect. Not unless they grew up thinking that they didn’t need to be insecure. In that case, no one can change their mind. Anyone can change their thought pattern over time. You can spend time crying over things that are out of your control, or you can smile about all of the positive things that you possess. You can get yourself into a positive mind set. You can choose to turn heads.
You are a star and your need to let yourself shine. Seriously, you’re a miracle and you need to remind people that you aren’t any less than you are, whether you’re big or small, short or tall. You’ve got it. Don’t let sarky comments hold you back from looking how you want to look, or doing what you want to do, and don’t let yourself stop you. At the end of the day, you are your biggest enemy. You’ve got to start loving you and you’ve got to want to be your own friend first. If you think you look stupid, other people will think you look stupid. You have to own yourself. You’ve got to own being you because you can’t be someone else. Your parents don’t want you to be someone else. Your friends, your family, past, present and future, they all love you. They choose to be around you. They don’t have to be, they choose to be. So choose to be yourself around them. If something or someone makes you happy, then go for it. It doesn’t matter what it looks like to other people. You enjoy it, you do it. Don’t let years of negative enforcement make you think that you have to act and look a certain way. We are free.
I know I’ve gone off topic a little but it all revolves around the question of ‘what have you got to lose?’. Insecurity? Worry? Bad health? Low mood? Boredom? These are just a few of the negatives you’ve got to lose by changing your perception of yourself and of others. No one is better than you are. You don’t have to be afraid. Don’t think about the loss, only of the gain. Being outside of the ideal norm is not a bad thing. Being overweight or underweight does not affect your value. There are health benefits to being inside this ideal, but you need to concentrate on your happiness and how you want to achieve happiness. Good health starts with happiness and a good mental health. Sofa surfing all day can only do so much for you. Working out all day is only the same. You’re missing moments. We live day by day, collecting moments. Don’t let something as trivial as a number on a scale hold you back from these moments. This is why positive body image is crucial. It’ll make you miserable if you don’t have it. Don’t put people down just to raise yourself up. That’s not real body positivity. That’s not going to make you feel any more secure in yourself. You might think so in the short term, but in the long term, people are just going to think you’re a dick.
Cheers guys, see you soon x